Christmas 2019: I Hate Big Gatherings

We celebrated the 4th night of Hanukkah (it was also Christmas, which we don't celebrate) with my parents last night. As per usual, my mother insisted that we must hold a big party at her house.

My mother did

• Nearly all the cooking (although she let Caroline make the latkes, and I think she sent Sophi or Jon out to get a pair of rotisserie chickens)
• Hung all the decorations
• Wrapped all the presents
• Took care of dad
• Organized the invitations
• ...Basically everything

As I've chronicled, she's been exhausting herself taking care of dad well before we had this party, so now she like, really really really exhausted. And you know what? Exhausted people are so much fun to be around...

My father

• Pulled out his feeding tube again a couple nights before. Which actually wasn't the worst thing, as in he'd already managed to effectively destroy the feeding tube cap (non-replaceable) before that.
• Was feeling sick and in a terrible mood. And I was tasked with sitting with him and trying to cheer him up; it didn't work
• Was very short tempered with everyone, especially mom
• Wouldn't take his feedings or his medicine

My sister

• Held court talking to her sister-in-law Adie about
• How wonderful and beautiful California is
• How awesome her Peloton cycle is, and how it has changed her life
• How stupid her children's friends parents are
• ... And when she was done she spend the remainder of her time on her awesome phone

My brother-in-law

• Was on his phone and spoke to no one, as per usual

When the party was done...

mom

• Lost the yogurt container containing the syringes she needed for tending to dad
• Poured dad's pain relief medicine down the sink
• Blames dad for everything

And dad

• Yelled at me and Caroline to help mom find the syringes / yogurt tin
• Yelled at mom that he was in pain and needed his pain medicine
• Got an broken up ibuprofen pill that mom has smashed up (in lieu of the medicine she'd poured down the sink) stuck in his feeding tube, and yelled (more like grunted angrily) at mom
• Wrote me an email at 3:30 AM apologizing, but also noting how frustrating mom's care and her inability to accept help is to him
• Blames mom for everything

My parents

• Can't communicate. And so they are never going to solve these problems

Why oh why do we need to do big gatherings?